Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Setting Boundaries

As they are getting to the 1-year mark, they tend to want to learn and explore the world around them - one of it being asserting their "rights". Shean Wenn is no exception, and sometimes she tries to test her boundaries. We, as first time parents, try as much as possible to nurture her to become a well-mannered, balanced and happy baby - not to misbehave, but there is always a balance between spoiling them or hindering their growth process and the line can be quite grey - to me, personally, I think it's all about trial and error and since not all kids have the same attributes, we need to approach with care when it comes to "disciplining". Since I think it is not acceptable to have bad manners!


During the weekend, hubs did a wonderful job teaching her about PHYSICAL BOUNDARY. As we could not actually put a safety gate across the kitchen opening, and she will scream her lungs out if I try to put her in her playpen... the hubs has resorted to teaching Shean Wenn not to go into the kitchen. Sounds like a tall order? I thought it was pretty daunting, but the key is persistence, consistency and very clear instructions to her.

At first, when SW goes into the kitchen, the hubs will give a stern warning "No, daddy says cannot go into the kitchen. Now, come back out here" and he stands outside the kitchen waiting for her to come out. He won't leave till she does. Or, he will carry her out and put her outside and tell her she cannot go in. He repeated this perhaps 5 or 6 times that evening... and she kind of got it. I told him that it will work if he is around, but when he is at work, it will not work! She will definitely come in when I cook.


The next day, sans daddy. She came into the kitchen in the morning while I was making milk for her. I tried the same tactic. She refused to come out, and sat there for awhile. She even threw abit of tantrum! I ignored her pleas and cries.. and she lied down on the kitchen floor, tummy on floor, eyes looking at me. Defiance! I showed her the milk and asked her to come out. After awhile, she came out.

In the evenings, I tried the technique 3 or 4 times and she finally got it.


This morning, she was hesitating if she should/could step into the kitchen. No way, missy! She has learnt well. Let's hope this will last!

(Hmm, your hand is inside the no-go zone, missy!) ("Argh, I can't step in!")
(Somewhat frustrated that she can't come into the kitchen)


Lilian said...

Haha, she looks so cute! What a great job your hubby did. Kids are so smart, and will always test boundaries. But with consistent 'training', they'll learn to toe the line.

Anonymous said...

WOW! I think I am going to give this method a try.


tsulin + + All Rights Reserved Ros Designs